It is now like almost the end of the month of August, like almost 8 months of 2013 has flew past. Life has not exactly been smooth, neither has it been too rough. No, it's not like things have gotten better over the past few weeks / months. I guess it's more of me being able to get through all these situations after getting accustomed to it.
I mean frankly, I do not think that anything can get easier on its own. I mean like just look at Mathematical questions, the questions stays the same right? It's just that we have practiced and gotten used to the formulas and what-nots-that we are able to solve the questions easier.
I'm not saying that life is really like solving a mathematical question and I know that whatever I just said is a bad analogy of my current state of mind. But if life is like the analogy that I just gave, then by now I wouldn't be facing anymore problems right?
So what made me finally blog today is that, you know, thoughts came flooding my mind all over again over loads of things that has happened over the past few months. Being on internship obviously has its plus and minus. The bright side of this phase of school life is that I do not have to worry about my day-to-day performance. I mean like I don't have to care about those people in my course right? I just have to care for myself. But the bad thing is that I do not have anything to keep me occupied, well not enough for me to not overthink about matters that are pretty much trivial.
So lately, the problems that has been triggering all the emotional break downs are the same few that has not been solved and were just cast aside everytime it surfaces. Things like how I feel towards my relationship and things at home.
After much hesitation, I finally went up to B to talk to him and clear the air and sort the thoughts that's been really bothering me all his while. Things that concern hin as well as things that I think he can help with. Which I will elaborate in the next post ;)
All I can say now is that i can no longer be the same Kai that used to be around. It is definitely too negative for everyone around me and the only way this can be mitigated would be that I stop telling people of my problems and my concerns. It's after all for the best right? I just have to blog about it to release Amy pent up emotions and thoughts and at the same time I wouldn't portray a negative me to anyone. Besides no one really reads this blog of mine.
